View Full Version : Seven gates of Mel?

04-12-2006, 11:55 AM
I've been trying in vain to find the seven gates of Mel.
Legend has it there is a haunted recording studio, abandoned and desolate somewhere out west.
The story goes, a janitor was cleaning up one night, when he accidently locked himself in, and failing to find a way out, drifted off to sleep in the control room. They say his arm accisently hit a contol lever, starting up reel to reel continuous loop of Mel Torme hits. This had the effect, after several hours, of driving the janitor into a homicidal rage. When the employees unlocked the studio in the morning, he tortured and killed them in the most gruesome ways imaginable. They say Satan erected seven gates of Mel, and if any mortal can survive the journey through seven Mel Torme' greatest hits cds, they will set the janitor free to go to the light.

I found the seven gates of Nell, but I only got to see Jody Foster naked.

Next trip, I found the seven gates of Bell, but it just turned out to be a fast food Mexican joint.

Last week I stumbled upon the seven gates of Jell, but my legs got all wobbly and I got lost.

I swear its all true. I read it on the internet.

04-12-2006, 01:30 PM
I've been there, you have to drive up and shut your car off, put it neutral while still moving and the car will automatically do a u turn on it's own. Then you get out, run around the car 3 times clockwise, crawl through the front seat from passenger to driver's side, run backward around the car 5 times counter-clockwise, open your trunk and roll your spare tire down the hill and where it ends up, there will be the Seven Gates of Mel. Oh and you have to do it at night, in front of a police sub-station after priming with a six pack of Natural Light or Old Milwaukee for it to work right. Other wise they'll think you're just drunk.

04-12-2006, 05:46 PM
Are you guys teasing me?

Or are we teasing someone else???


04-13-2006, 09:29 AM
Wow guys sounds like its worth a try, do you think Natural Ice would work? thats my favorite yo. I'll be trying to get to the gates at 12:03 a.m. tonight at the station, who's with me

04-13-2006, 02:10 PM
Wow guys sounds like its worth a try, do you think Natural Ice would work? thats my favorite yo. I'll be trying to get to the gates at 12:03 a.m. tonight at the station, who's with me

I'll bring the guns and you bring the keg. We'll spend tomorrow editing the pics ;)

Who's bringing the mannequin?

04-15-2006, 04:59 PM
Don't know but I got the sears catolog

04-15-2006, 11:09 PM
I heard from a friend of this guy that I used to know where we used to work after school on weekends that the actual gates of Mel were destroyed in a huge tsunami in 1959 followed by an infestation of those gastly "angles on benches" mentioned in another thread. Supposedly its located near a bayou in Marana near Deer scrotum pass. We party there almost every weekend and man do we get so d***k we end up v*****ing allover ourselves the next day. Sometimes, on a clear night, you can see Mel Torme' driving a Chevy Vega racing a strange g***n orb. Sometimes my buds and I skateboard in the area until we p**e. Its true what they say about an indian burial ground near gate #1. No one has ever made it past gate #3, but the construction company that built the mini-mart on the location seemed to fare pretty well. If you buy a large slurpy after midnight you will fall off your skateboard on the way home, and your bud will l***h at you because your lowrider jeans will slide down to your ankles, exposing your Winne the Pooh underwear. This has been verified at least three t***s by this old guy that seems to appear out of no where that hangs in the parking lot exposing himself to my skateboard buds. I also crap in my pants all the time, but thats not due to the ghosts.