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View Full Version : BLM & Forest Service send advisors to Europe!



LauraA
05-06-2007, 11:05 AM
The League Of European Countries has requested of the US Department of the Interior that an advisory panel made up of BLM and Forest Service officials be loaned to several different European countries to serve on an advisory panel, assisting them with maintaining public safety and protect their natural resources.
After an extensive tour of Europe, BLM and Forest Service Officials have come up with the following recommendations;
France:
Notre Dame Cathedral, We recommend that this old church be demolished. It was built around 1163 AD and we feel that the style of construction is outmoded and could pose a potential threat to people if the flying buttresses should collapse. The glass windows could be recycled and made into soda pop bottles and the marble used to pave Paris streets.
The Eiffel Tower, We recommend that this structure has the future potential of being used as a giant oil rig and therefore it should be dismantled to prevent future harm to the environment.
Italy:
The Leaning Tower of Pisa, We recommend that the tower be toppled. It is unsafe to locals and tourists alike. The general public might not heed the numerous warning signs posted and actually enter the tower, causing it to topple in an unsafe manner
Vatican City, Since there are too many structures to list separately, it is our recommendation that all buildings be demolished. The buildings are outdated and only used by a small portion of the general public. The land could then revert back to pasture and woodland, thereby allowing the Yellow-Bellied Booby Bird to return to its natural nesting place.
Venice C****s, should be filled with concrete, dirt and industrial foam to stop erosion along the banks and to keep the public from falling into the dirty water.
Greece:
Parthenon, This much outdated structure was built to honor Athena the Virgin, it is certainly not used for its original purpose so we recommend that this structure be leveled. The hilly land it sits on could then be bulldozed and planted with trees, allowing the pigeons residing in Athens a place to nest.
Acropolis, Once the Parthenon is bulldozed, it will clear the way for removal of this crumbling structure. By providing a nesting place for European pigeons, it should clear up the problem Europe has been plagued with for generations. The pigeon manure could then be harvested and sold to American farmers to be used as fertilizer.
Plans are now under way for the BLM and Forest Service officials to tour England. The Queen has left her palace in London and is now in the USA looking for a new residence in advance of the official recommendations.
There are rumors in the press that China is now considering asking the US Government to send the same panel of officials to Beijing to assess the future of The Great Wall .... anybody want to buy some used bricks?
:D

brian10x
05-06-2007, 01:41 PM
That post took a lot of thought, Laura. Very well done.

Sad to say, that is exactly the result I would predict if they went over there.

Brian

Kelly
05-06-2007, 02:51 PM
Another good read Laura,;) :D

speedy
05-07-2007, 05:44 AM
Thanks, Laura....you probably hit the nail on the head......Speedy

californienne
05-07-2007, 12:07 PM
Haha...Poor Europe! We can only hope they protect themselves from the BLM over there. What a strange idea! It seems like it might make more sense to have advisors sent the other way across the Atlantic.